Girls In White Dresses....

It seems I am slowly becoming part of a minority. I am already a black female so I am not sure why fate is deciding to play such a cruel joke on me. I am talking, of course, of my fingers--which are currently unencumbered by a ring of any kind.

Faithful readers, it seems that many people took Beyonce at her word about putting a ring on it, and I am gearing up to attend many "exciting" weddings in the coming year. I am not sure my budget can sustain the dresses and gifts that these events will require.

I am surprised though, at the number of people who are getting engaged post-graduation. Just yesterday another one bit the dust and up went a profile picture of her ring. This ring made her the "happiest woman alive". She probably remained in that state till she realized the amount of work her wedding would require.

Luckily for me, my parents (and by that I mean my Mom since my Dad doesn't deal with "woman issues") are not putting any pressure on me whatsoever to get married. I know you are wondering, are my parents really Nigerian? Yes, they are. My mother appears ADAMANTLY OPPOSED to the idea of marriage (see how she is being a hypocrite? clearly she is still married to my dad, unless there is something she isn't telling us).

As a female, it is my duty to have my wedding/marriage planned out before I even find a boyfriend. So, dutifully, I submit...EDJ's Marriage Plans.

1. Start med. school.
   
2. Find a man to marry and buy me a big fat diamond ring that can be seen from space. The ring budget is going to surpass everything else on this list.
3. Notify parents of decision and listen to my mother warn me of the pitfalls of marriage, especially if I haven't finished med. school yet.
4. Decide whether wedding should be before or after med. school graduation.
5. Find nearest courthouse and obtain marriage license, then notify bridesmaids of their selection.
6. Pick bridesmaids outfits: i.e. jeans and their choice of t-shirt.
7. Pick groomsmen outfits: i.e. jeans and their choice of t-shirt.
8. Make group reservation at nearest Applebees (so the hubby doesn't miss the game).
   
9. Sign documents in front of judge with family and close friends as witnesses.
10. Retire to Applebees to make merry. No open bar, and you pay for what you order, but free hot wings & soda for everyone!
11. End of Wedding Day. Go home and begin baby-making process. Unless still in med school or first two years of residency, finally give up on birth control. Otherwise, use protection.

Very straightforward and all very doable within a week. No long waiting period required. Why is my wedding so cheap? Because I plan to have the huge diamond duh! An engagement ring should cost two months pay (at least according to DeBeers). So here's hoping this mystery man is earning a lot!

Also, am I not being a considerate bride by having my bridal party wear outfits they already own? See? Everyone saves money!

Of course these plans may change at some point. But for now, this is the plan.