Parent-Child Separation Syndrome (PCSS)
What is PCSS? PCSS is a disease caused by the enzyme GrowUpandLeaveHomease (GULHase). The genetic code for the production of this enzyme is found on the GULH gene on Chromosome 23.5 (the invisible chromosome). This gene is activated at the onset of puberty--though it may be later for some people--and the activation of this GULH gene leads to the production of GULHase (GrowUpandLeaveHomease). People who lack the GULH gene have the LiveOffMomandDad (LOMD) replacement gene.Symptoms of PCSS:
- Offspring feel an overwhelming urge to move far away from their parents.
- Offspring experience moments where they seriously question their biological connection to parents i.e. wondering if they were adopted at birth.
- Offspring make up reasons not to visit for holidays.
- When they DO visit, offspring spend more time on the phone and computer with friends than they do talking to parents.
- Offspring have given up trying to convince parents that they are NOT babies anymore, and have resigned themselves to nodding their heads at parental suggestions--then doing things their own way anyway.
- Parents have lost some of their "untouchability" which previously offered some protection from offspring scrutiny. Offspring no longer view parents as demi-gods, and have realized that parents are not always right when giving "life advice".
- Offspring are constantly getting into mini-arguments with parents because their societal views are very different from that of the offspring.
Treatment
PCSS is an incurable disease, however the effects can be lessened by prolonged absences from parents. In fact, studies have shown that in offspring who live away from home, the effects of PCSS have been reduced by 90%. That number can be increased to 98% for offspring living across state lines from parents. However, due to recent economic problems, we have seen a rise in PCSS as offspring are forced to move back with their parents to save money. Unfortunately, this will remain the case until these offspring can move away from home once again.
Additional Notes
Little can be done for mutants with the LiveOffMomandDad (LOMD) gene. For these unfortunate individuals, maturity is never reached and the effects of the LOMD gene are severe and can take years to dissipate. In some males the LOMD leads to a very serious case of MammasBoy. This is a terrible disease which causes the alienation of possible female mates. Sufferers of MammasBoy have been known to remain single long past the rest of their age group. In females, excessive exposure to the LOMD gene has been known to lead to Spinsteritis, another terrible disease which also leads to the alienation of possible mates.
Conclusion
It is my belief that the effects of PCSS are not to be interfered with. In fact PCSS is a natural process that is vital to the growth and development of every child. Parents have been known to try various methods to block the effects of PCSS. Methods such as yelling and/or giving ultimatums have been tried by parents, but these only serve to increase the effects of GULH and thus increase the occurence of PCSS symptoms. Parents are urged to REFRAIN from blocking PCSS from occurring--unless these parents plan to take care of their children long past the age when it is socially acceptable.
PS: We at The Journal of Life Genetics have fully mapped out Chromosome 23.5. There are other genes on this chromosome which shall be of great interest to you. Our next entry shall be about the DoucheBaggery (DB) gene
