Things Men Have Told Me.

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I have decided to take a look back at some memorable moments in my years dating the opposite sex. I'm sure every female remembers some of the daftest things they've been told by the opposite sex, and now I am sharing some of mine with you. In no particular order, here it goes!

"I think you should stay a virgin till you get married."
From my boyfriend at the time. I remember hearing that and thinking, "so he doesn't want to sleep with me?" I suppose he may have been worried about my naivete, either that or a possible statutory rape charge (I was under 18 and he was about 4 years older) but still...I felt like I was undesirable for some reason.

"I'm thinking about making us official, but there is this other girl I'm talking to right now and I wanna see how that turns out first."
Exactly what do you say to such a statement? "At least he's being honest?" Men, never tell a woman, or imply to a woman, that she is the backup plan. NEVER.
 
"I don't have to wear a condom because you're a virgin, do you think I have AIDS or something?!"
This, while he was millimeters away from "breaching the fortress". I told him that I didn't care if I got AIDS--I just didn't want to get pregnant. Then he tried to convince me that since it was my first time I couldn't get pregnant. I guess he thought I was stupid. There was probably some poor idiot he tried that with in the past who actually fell for it. Needless to say, that was the last time we "hung out". Word of advice--you can get pregnant from your first time. You can also get pregnant if you have sex during her period--disgusting I know--but a friend of mine learned that the hard way after her boyfriend talked her into it.

"Blowjobs are disgusting!
Dont worry I wasn't offering! The topic came up in a conversation (don't ask me how). I had never met a guy who didn't like bjs until this dude. He said the idea of her mouth on him just made him feel weird. Okayyy then.

"I know that its Valentine's Day! I didn't think I needed to tell you anything."
Another gem from a boyfriend. I cannot explain to you how pissed off I was when I heard this. I actually thought he forgot (which is impossible because there are reminders EVERYWHERE). Basically his point was that he tells me that he cares on "other days" (i.e. once every 2-3 months) so why would I get upset that he didn't say anything on February 14th. I wasn't even asking for a gift! Just a simple phrase: "Happy Valentine's Day". Is avoiding that statement worth an argument? I will never understand men. Worst V-day ever so far.

"You're pretty...for a thick girl"
Is that supposed to be a compliment? This was from some wannabe area boy outside a club who pulled up on the passenger side of an SUV while my friends and I were waiting for our ride home. Am I supposed to be happy at that statement? So every female above size 10 is ugly?

Me, eyeing him suspiciously: "Where did you just take my drink to?
Him: "Upstairs?"
Me: "Why?"
Him: "No reason"
I was a freshman in college at a frat mixer on my 2nd day on campus--isn't college great? My roommate and I had been invited to the mixer by a sorority looking to recruit us (even though, technically, freshmen aren't supposed to join Greek organizations until second semester at least). I was "chillin" wondering if I should consider joining the sorority, they had driven us to the house party after all,  when these two cute black guys started to talk to me. I felt extra special. Then, all of a sudden one of them took my drink and went upstairs with it. When he returned, the conversation above happened. He returned my drink and I casually set it aside. Like, really? Aren't college men supposed to be suave when they lace drinks? SHEESH.

"Why do women always complain about men?"

See above. Then e-mail me and I'll send you more examples.


This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to Things Men Have Told Me. I am not making any of this up and I am sure there are women out there that have worse stories to share.

To see one man's rebuttal, read: "Things Women Have Told Me" by Enoch.