Now Hiring: EDJ's Bridal Party

It has come to my attention that I am probably going to get married some day, but before the mortgage, car payments, baby shopping, we must first have the wedding. Some of you may know that I already planned my wedding and it was going to be awesome--was. However, after watching many hours of WEtv's Bridezillas--the only show they have on that channel because weddings are the only thing women care about--I have decided that my wedding plans are currently too small and too cheap. It needs be enlarged. This way I will have more people to yell at and complain about during my wedding.

Speaking of Bridezillas, that show just cracks me up because the bridezillas are hardly ever wealthy. Have you ever seen one of the women on Platinum Weddings throw a fit? I think not! Why? Because all that money leads to bridal anger management. Oh honey, you want a dancing monkey on each table and a 5 star Michelin chef to grill overpriced meat? Sure! Oh you want me to spend $10million on our wedding after buying you a $3million dollar ring? Of course honey! Bridezillas are not usually wealthy and their anger from wedding stress is because they can't just hire a wedding planner and take off somewhere. They have to be involved in everything and lets face it, it is stressful.

So, now that I have been brainwashed convinced by WEtv, I have decided I need a change of wedding plans.The original plan involved jeans and t-shirts and a trip to Applebees, but I have decided this is wayyyyy too easy. Especially since I can do so much better. I mean Applebees? Come on, we can at least try The Cheesecake Factory. Also, as I have disappointed my parents by dumping medical school plans, it is probably not in my best interest to piss them off with a denim wedding.

However, I am seriously lacking in the bridal party department. Of course we already have Mogaji and my younger sister, but unless I want to fill the bridal party with relatives that I hardly know, we need more people. So, I am extending this invitation to y'all. If you want to be my bridesmaid, please put forward applications. Your chances of being accepted are very high. The plan here is that we can build a friendship so that by the time the wedding rolls around we will be bffs like the Sex and The City gals. Just FYI, I have no idea where or when this wedding will take place, so you may want to clear your calendars for the 2013-2015 summers. If we get to 2015 and still no wedding date, then consider yourself off the hook.

I wonder though, am I the only female out there who doesn't have many close female friends? What is the criteria for selecting bridesmaids anyway? There are people I know that I could add to the bridal party but I have always been under the impression that it has to be people you are REALLY close to. Please tender your applications in the comments box.  --------------------------------->