Sex And The City 2...A rant

I saw the first one. Not in theaters though because back in those days it bothered me to spend over $10 on what I considered unnecessary bullsh*t. When I was in college and unemployed ("Student" is not a profession) I had to be careful with where I spent money. It usually took a "Dark Knight" type of film to drag me to theaters.

However, now that I am gainfully employed I find myself willing to take a chance on certain movies. For instance, Percy Jackson and Clash of The Titans (which are actually the same movie if you really think about it). With that said, I am not foolish optimistic enough to pay money to see this movie. In fact, I am probably better off seeing Prince of Persia (but this may just be the nerd in me talking since I own both "Sands of Time" and "The Two Thrones").

Don't get me wrong, it is not my "feminism" that is making me speak up against the blatant idiocy that makes up Sex and the City sometimes. Remember part 1? Who wouldn't love a movie where a woman takes back a man who not only jerked her around (on and off) for 6 years, but also left her at the altar. Yes, I can see how logical that is. If that were real life wouldn't you have told your girlfriend to leave the relationship a long a** time ago? But then this is only a movie. Some of you may be saying right now, "chill out EDJ, don't take it so serious..." I shouldn't. I do like how the characters are "bffs". However if you think the "bff-ness" is the point of SATC2, then you are sorely mistaken. In fact, based on reviews it appears their "camaraderie" only shows up in the last 30 minutes of the 2.5hr movie.

I am more upset at the fact that they are ruining the reputation of a perfectly fine TV series and making its fans look really bad. Real fans of the show should support me here. When "normal" people watch Sex and the City 2 they are going to believe that anyone who ever liked the show must be foolish. Is that the reputation you want? Because that is what this movie is doing to the show and its fans. I am also upset that a movie company wasted time and money for this madness--wasted money always hurts me.

Usually I don't pay attention to "the critics". I have seen movies despite their warnings (Transformers 2) and hated myself after. However there have been a few movies (Watchmen) that got mixed reviews and I absolutely loved. In the case of SATC2 I am in full support of "the critics". Here are some quotes from "the critics":

At this point it's virtually impossible to escape the cruel irony that Sex and the City, the show, ended when it did so that it wouldn't become what this movie is.

Amid the luxury of Abu Dhabi, the New Yorkers soon butt up against tradition, and their outrageous antics are no longer funny and harmless but offensive and dangerous.

Most dishearteningly, we start seeing the sexually free Samantha (Kim Cattrall) as utterly pathetic. In one scene, she seduces a millionaire businessman by simulating oral sex on a hookah pipe. Get real, folks...If a man wants a woman who'll behave in public like a 20-year-old prostitute, he'll find an actual 20-year-old prostitute.

Once the ladies arrive and spend a good chunk of time marveling at each and every luxury at their disposal (a $22,000-per-night suite, personal butlers, a fleet of cars), they are finally able to get down to the business at hand — complaining about their ridiculously privileged lives and, in Carrie’s case, creating problems out of absolutely nothing.

When the movie finally gets around to the women checking out the city, the film recaptures some of the spirited comedy and clever social commentary that sparked the TV show. This all happens in the final half-hour...

A fascination with the trappings of wealth - specifically, designer labels - has always been a "Sex and the City" hallmark. But here the franchise steps beyond wish fulfillment to prostrate itself before the golden calf of materialism. Consumption hasn't been so conspicuous since the court of Caligula. Future Bolsheviks will use "Sex and the City 2" as a recruiting film.

For a casual observer, there is absolutely nothing of value here. And even for fans, it seems little effort has been made to explore the characters or expand on their world. Why bother, when you can just put some outlandish clothes on the ladies, give them some dirty puns to say, and point the cameras at them?

Nearly as odious is the puerile sanctimony (false righteousness) expressed about the "plight" of the veiled Muslim women (Carrie and Co. don't let any actual human rights abuse trouble their feeble minds, they just care about how the women are forced to dress).

No scene made me seethe as much as one shared by the two characters I always liked best, Miranda and Charlotte. As they vacation half a world away from their families in a $22,000-a-night suite, these two women with full-time nannies moan about the hardships of motherhood. Realizing they might be alienating much of their audience, they acknowledge that some mothers can't afford nannies. In a patronizing gesture, they raise their glasses and say, "To them."...On behalf of my own mother and the millions of other women who raised children without servants, may the two of you choke on your cosmopolitans.

I think you get the point. 

If you are one of the unfortunate souls who bought "advance tickets" weeks ago (honestly no movie is worth that much trouble) then please do come back to this blog and tell me how satisfied you were with the movie on a scale of 1 to 10.

If you don't have your tickets yet, then there is still time for an escape. Don't take my opinion or "the critics" opinion. But do give it a weekend and see how it does. It is my fervent wish that Warner Bros will abandon this foolishness and make this movie the last one, but then we all know that movie execs aren't the brightest of people.