Yaradua Died

I am happy for him. Honestly. He is dead what is his own problem now? Nothing! Poor Turai has to begin packing her gwongwoni (I think that is an Hausa word) so that Patience and Goodluck (pun intended) can move in to Aso Rock. Walai!

Its sad that somebody had to die before an igbo man "accidentally" became president. For all you "people" saying he is not Igbo biko mechie onu. That is like the Barack Obama argument (i.e. he's only half black). His middle name is Ebele and that should be Igbo enough for all of you. At least, for the sake of the history books.

I don't understand some of the news I am hearing though. For instance President Goodluck (Hence-forthwith-rightoh-cherrio I will refer to him as P.G on this blog) said,

"Nigeria has lost the jewel on its crown and even the heavens mourn with our nation tonight,"

Who knew P.G had such a flair for overly dramatic declarations and flowery prose? I have called "the heavens" to comment on this and no such mourning is taking place. See? His first day on the job (officially) and P.G has already started lying. 

The part that amuses me about Nigerian news coverage is how they mentioned that Yaradua's death brings back memories of American presidents who died in office. I can see the similarities. Remember all those U.S presidents that were murdered in military coups by greedy soldiers hell bent on becoming dictators and stealing all of America's wealth? Yes, I see the similarities between the U.S and Nigeria.
Why does Nigeria have a constant need to draw similarities with the "cool guys"? This isn't high school! Nigerian news should PROUDLY claim the fact that modern Nigerian politics is similar to that of medieval England. Yes, the system is a few hundred years behind the "big guys" but its okay.

Now we can all prepare for the 2nd presidency of Ibrahim Babangida. Everyone in Nigeria, spend this time under P.G getting your visas and passports in order. This way, when IBB becomes president (again) you can easily use your visa to escape--if your application doesn't get denied. This is the best strategy at the moment.

I have told Mogaji that the upcoming election will be the true test of the online social advocacy/campaigning craze that is sweeping Nigeria. All you anti-IBB people that are tweeting, Facebooking, blogging, #lightupnigeria-ing, etc now is the time to see if this will work in a country without constant electricity.

Campaign your hardest! But, if IBB wins you all have to admit that I have been right all along and e-advocacy is a waste of time in Nigeria. Okay? Deal!