As Nigeria Turns 50

Wow I'm on a roll, this makes two posts in a row about Nigerian-related issues. Hmm. Sha, a friend of mine put up this poem about Nigeria at 50. This appeared over at Suleiman's Blog. It wasn't originally written as poetry but it turned out that way.

So, as party promoters take advantage of this day to rake in big bucks; as you all gather this weekend to have the "biggest party ever" in your respective cities; as you dress to impress, spend money, and party the night away, let us all remember the true reality of the situation in Nigeria.

But, let a true patriot share with you their thoughts on the celebration of 50 years of Nigeria. I'm calling this, "Please Celebrate Me".


I have enormous tracts of land and vast volumes of water, but cannot feed myself.
So I spend $1 billion to import rice and another $2 billion on milk.
I produce rice, but don’t eat it. I have millions of cows but no milk.
I am 50, 
Please celebrate me.

I drive the best cars in the world but have no roads,
So I crush my best brains in the caverns, craters and crevasses they crash into daily.
I am in unending mourning,
Please celebrate me.

My school has no teacher and my classroom has no roof.
I take lectures through windows and live with 15 others in one room.
All my professors have gone abroad, and the rest are awaiting visas.
I am a university graduate, but I am illiterate. 
I want a future,
Please celebrate me.

Preventable diseases send me to hospitals without doctors, medicines or power.
All the nurses have gone abroad and the rest are waiting to go also.
I have the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the world;
and future generations are dying before me. 
I am hopeless, hapless and helpless,
Please celebrate me.

For democracy’s sake I stood all day on Election Day.
But before I could ink my thumb, results had been broadcast.
When I dared to speak out, silence was enthroned by bullets.
My leaders are my oppressors, and my policemen are my terrors.
I am ruled by men in mufti, but I am not a democracy.
I have no verve, no vote, no voice,
Please celebrate me.

My youth have no past, present nor future.
So my sons in the North have become street urchins;
And his brothers in the South have become kidnappers.
My nephews die of thirst in the Sahara and his cousins drown in the Mediterranean.
My daughters walk the streets of Lagos, Abuja, and Port Harcourt;
While her sisters parade the streets of Rome and Amsterdam .
I am grief-stricken,
Please celebrate me.

Pen-wielding bandits have raided everything in my vaults.
They walk the land with haughty strides and fly the skies with private planes
They have looted the future of generations unborn;
And have money they cannot spend in several lifetimes,
But their brothers die of starvation. 
I want a kit of kindness,
Please celebrate me.

I can produce anything, but import everything.
So my toothpick is made in China; my toothpaste is made in South Africa;
My salt is made in Ghana; my butter is made in Ireland;
My milk is made in Holland; my shoe is made in Italy;
My vegetable oil is made in Malaysia my biscuit is made in Indonesia;
My chocolate is made in Turkey and my table water made in France.
My taste is far-flung and foreign,
Please celebrate me.

My land is dead because all the trees have been cut down;
Flooding kills thousands yearly because the drains are clogged;
My fishes are dead because the oil companies dump waste in my rivers;
My communities are vanishing into the huge yawns of gully erosion, and nothing is being done.
My very existence is uncertain and I am in the deepest depths of despondence,
Please celebrate me.

I have genuine leather but choose to eat it.
So I spend billions of dollars to import fake leather.
I have four refineries, but prefer to import fuel,
So I waste more billions to import petrol.
I have no security in my country,
But send troops to keep peace in another man’s land.
I have hundreds of dams, but no water.
So I drink ‘pure’ water that roils my innards.
I need a vision,
Please celebrate me.

I have a million candidates craving to enter universities,
But my dungeons can only accommodate a tenth.
I have no power, but choose to flare gas,
So my people have learnt to see in the dark and stare at the glare of unclothed flares.
I am shrouded by darkness,
Please celebrate me.

For my golden jubilee,
I shall spend 16 billion naira to bash around the bonfires of the banal.
So what if the majority gaze at my possessed, frenzied dance;
Drenched in silent tears, as probity is enslaved in democracy’s empty cellars?
I am profligacy personified,
Please celebrate me.

Why can I not simply reflect and ponder?
Does my complexion cloud the color of my character?
Does my location limit the lengths my liberty?
Does the spirit of my conviction shackle my soul
Does my mien maim the mine of my mind?
And is failure worth celebrating?
I AM NIGERIAN, PLEASE CELEBRATE ME

Usually my response to this sort of poetry is a mild rash. I mean, does the person have to use words like "mien", "profligacy", "caverns, craters and crevasses" or let us consider the phrase "My fishes are dead". I am a grammar Nazi, have I mentioned that on this blog?

BUT, you get the point. I didn't write this but I especially like the very last verse. I am not saying don't party, that is all well and good. Enjoy yourselves, but don't forget there is a lot more to be ashamed about than there is to celebrate.

I'm just saying.

RCCG's Pastor Adeboye-Scam Artist Extraordinaire

Usually my stance on the different branches of Christianity is, "do you". I may complain about certain churches but in the end, everybody needs to do what feels right for them.

However, every once in a while I come across some piece of news that leaves me wondering what is wrong with people.

Today it was this headline that caught my attention.

REALLY? I am going to give the guy the benefit of doubt and assume that this is not true.

But, if it is true...then please enjoy this diatribe below.

I cannot believe that at Redeemed, the measure of a person's faith is whether or not they decide to give Pastor Adeboye a tithe so that he can buy private jets and live off another person's hard work. Are you f*cking kidding me? If you think this is okay then you need to slap yourself right quick and go see a therapist.

How is it okay to mandate that after a person works hard they should hand over part of their salary to prove that they love God? Is God the IRS? Does God need the money? Is this pastor now insinuating that if a person cannot afford to pay tithe then they need to leave the church to get married?

I have nothing against the members of this church. It is the 419 pastors that are the problem here. In all honesty I feel a twinge of sadness when I see how Redeemed pastors are fleecing their congregation for the sake of religion. It is completely unfair.

If you attend Redeemed, WAKE UP. Stop being sheep. This is a scam and you need to realize it and LEAVE. God is not confined to one place and you don't need to pay Pastor Adeboye so that God can hear you.

I believe (and hope) that people will leave the church over this. But when this happens I'm sure the "true" Redeemers will call these people "traitors" and it cannot be easy to face a sort of "excommunication" simply because you cannot (or do not) want to subscribe to mandatory tithe giving. But, its time for you to realize that this is wrong.

Throughout history churches have tried to sell a way to heaven and it has never ended well. It is not as if a tithe is the only fee that you pay as a member of Redeemed. Have you ever seen their fee payment page? It is pure daylight robbery!

The church is run like a business and that is not what Christianity should be about!  It is not just weddings that now require a tithe. Here is a quote from the article:

Pastor Adeboye had a private meeting with his senior pastors where he told them to inform their parish members that henceforth, anybody who does not pay his or her tithe is not faithful and as such will not get any assistance from the church. Furthermore, he stated that it will be a major criterion for ordaining pastors. If you want to be ordained as a pastor and you default in this area you will be disqualified. This includes deacons and deaconesses. Also if you want to get married in the church, your tithe record will be the deciding factor. Parish members were informed that from their head assemblies, they will send their tithe envelopes for upward review at the headquarters. Pastor Adeboye said this new rule will show the members obedience to the church and to God.

Just unfortunate.

I have never been a fan of Redeemed. In Nigeria I was not a fan and here it is even worse. I've been to their services before and every time I leave with an even stronger dislike for the church. People told me it was just one branch and I shouldn't use that as a measure but you know what, it isn't just that one branch. I know people who attend the church and there is nothing they can say to convince me that their "Daddy G.O" and his scheming pastors are not scam artists of Bernie Madoff proportions.

Movie Trailers

This is going to sound weird but whenever I see a great movie trailer with a great musical selection, chances are that is one of the rare movies I will actually go to the theater to watch. Here are some of my favorite trailers, they also happen to be some of my favorite movies. Go figure.

Take for example, Watchmen (2009)

Not only did I watch this in theaters on opening day, I saw it in IMAX and it was awesomely awesome. It is one of those movies I can watch multiple times and the only reason I went to see it at all was because of this trailer. I had never even heard of the graphic novel! I think the whole soundtrack for this movie is great. The song in this trailer is The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning by Smashing Pumpkins.


I present, he trailer for Inception. It doesnt really have "music" I know. The movie was so great I was left frozen in my seat for a few minutes after it ended. Such a cool movie!



Right now, there are two movies that I am truly looking forward to based on kick ass movie trailers with perfect music.

The Social Network (October 1st). This movie actually has two trailers that have inspired me to watch. The first one is the version you see in theaters right now.

This song is a cover of Radiohead's Creep done by a Belgian women's choir.


But on TV, there is another trailer that REALLY made me want to see this movie.
 
This song is Power by Kanye West. Its as if Kanye wrote the song specifically for this. I think its such a great fit for this movie because of the story behind the creation of Facebook, at least from what I've read. Also, is it weird that I have a small crush on Jesse Eisenberg? I've had one ever since I saw him in Zombieland.

Another movie that sparked my interest, Tron (December 17th). In fact, I will go and dig up a copy of the first movie so that I can be "prepared" for the new one when it comes out.

The musical score for the movie is by Daft Punk so I'm looking forward to that!

See This Idiot?

Now y'all know I am not a fan of Nigeria. But, that doesn't mean I dislike Nigerians! Sounds weird I know.

There are things that happen/have happened that I feel Nigerians "deserve" a bad reputation for (ahem...419). But, there are also times when people say things about Nigerians and I am tempted to slap the people talking.

This is one of those times.

Please watch the first 1 minute of the video then skip over to the 4:00 mark to see the responses.





This is why people dislike the GOP (Republicans) and foolishness like this should not be tolerated. Fox News is the epitome of what is wrong with America. People on that channel rarely think before speaking. I won't even get into my thoughts on their ideas to privatize things like the U.S Postal Service or Immigration.

Your thoughts?

Manliness

Over the weekend I had an interesting conversation with a guy friend of mine who lives in the UK. During the conversation, sports inevitably came up. Like a typical Nigerian man in the UK (I suppose) he loves soccer/football. The guy in question was looking forward to watching the many premier league games over the weekend and he jokingly threatened to message me everytime anything remotely interesting happened in each game. So, I jokingly threatened to message him when next I was watching one of my shows like Gossip Girl, Vampire Diaries, etc.

Then he said, "Oh, I watch Gossip Girl".

Cue jaw drop. I didn't believe him so I asked him questions about the show and sure enough he does watch Gossip Girl.

My first thought, and I'm being honest here, was that he is trapped in the closet, you know which closet.

BUT, and I am so proud of myself, I paused and thought about it. WHY should it shock me that a straight man is able to watch and pay attention to Gossip Girl or some other equally "girly" show? Why should I automatically assume he is gay?

I know why. It is because I have come to accept certain "criteria" about manliness, specifically concerning "straight" men. Some of these criteria include:

1. A love of sports to the point where ignoring females is acceptable in the name of playoff season for _____ (insert sport here).
2. The idea that certain days like Valentine's day or an anniversary are for "the women" and as a guy you are not expected to do anything other than "tolerate" these days with an eye-roll at "women".
3. An intense desire for "freedom" to hang out with "the guys" and especially making fun of any friends who don't feel as strongly about it.
4. A serious dislike for anything "girly". This includes movies, music, books, tv shows, etc.
5. Viewing being "sensitive and romantic" as something to be made fun of and only to be reserved for special occasions.

However, the fact is, I know gay men who do not watch (or want to watch) Gossip Girl. I know straight men who would be willing to give up Monday Night Football to hang with their girlfriends/wives.


It is unfortunate that I have been so abused by stereotypes that I have now come to think that they are the norm. I do not think my friend in the UK is gay. I am sure he is straight unless he tells me otherwise.

I just had to stop and check myself at my knee-jerk reaction to his declaration. I am also a bit annoyed that my first reaction was based on gender role stereotypes as opposed to the actual facts in front of me. 

I am working really hard at repairing the years of damage done to me by stereotype abuse.

However these manliness criteria issues pop up everyday. I used to accept these things as "normal" but now I understand that "normal" is what you make of it and I have chosen my "normal". Now I am aware of when I choose to ignore "manly" things that irritate me and sometimes I actually don't ignore it.

I'll give you an example.

This summer during the world cup, Alpa Chino mentioned that he would love to go to Brazil for the next competition. I agreed that it would be great to be able to go and watch such a huge event. We both knew people who were able to go to South Africa for this world cup and we joked about how jealous we were! Then Alpa Chino said his friend probably wouldn't have been able to do all that traveling if he had been married. Apparently, Alpa Chino was (is?) of the opinion that if his friend had been married, a wife would have held him back from being able to travel for a month to watch the world cup. When I asked him why he thought so, he basically said that the world cup isn't something a wife would be interested in attending.

When I heard this I experienced a slight headache.


Its not that Alpa Chino is a douche bag, its just that he has been conditioned to view things a certain way. Thanks to years of hearing that wives are a "ball and chain" is it any surprise that he thinks marriage would infringe on somebody's ability to attend the world cup?

So, I asked Alpa Chino why a wife couldn't just go on the trip with her husband? What if the wife loves soccer/football as well? What if she likes to travel? What if she wants to go on her own trip while her husband attends the world cup? What if she needs an escape from him because he has been getting on her nerves and she would appreciate some time in the house alone? What if? Did I not watch multiple games with and without him? Did I not follow the competition, make predictions, pay attention? Did I not say how great it would be to go to Brazil 2014? Do I not love to travel? (more than him possibly).

Hopefully I made him realize the problem with his line of thinking.

However, there are times when I don't speak up because in the end complaining about EVERYTHING will just cause problems. Like I said, I have chosen my "normal". He is not saying these things to be mean/misogynistic/chauvinistic/hurtful it is just a result of his environment and Nigerian upbringing. I am very aware he is not as bad as he could be and he is definitely better than when I first met him (I am not taking credit for the change, well not all of it).

However, this doesn't detract from the fact that gender role stereotype abuse is alive and well. We all do it--men and women. With the gender equality/feminism push, men have been told for quite some time that women are their equals, and just because a woman looks a certain way or acts a certain way doesn't mean she is "weak". However, it is going to take us women some time to realize that just because a man acts a certain way or dresses a certain way doesn't mean he is "weak" or he is gay or something is wrong with him.. Of course men also need to realize that just because they do certain things (like making romantic gestures) doesn't mean they are weak either.

This all brings to mind a Dele Taiwo song where he sings, "Gentlemanliness no be yellowmanliness". True talk!

Life In These United States

The other day, OriginalMgbeks got me thinking of the many things that are considered "suffering" in Nigeria that people in the US call "luxuries". So I came up with a brief list.

Light/Electricity. I guess when you live in a country that has electricity 24/7 it becomes "romantic" to turn out all the lights and use a candle as your only source of illumination. There are candles that cost more than some people make in a day of work! There are restaurants in the US that are solely for eating in the dark and these restaurants are very expensive! You are literally paying to experience eating in darkness. So, the next time NEPA PHCN "takes light" while you are at the dinner table, simply console yourself by remembering that those of us in the US would have to pay an arm and a leg to have the experience of eating in the dark. So, don't turn on those generators, just enjoy!

The Bush/Camping. The next time you go to your village why not take a blanket and sleep outside underneath the stars. In fact, you don't have to wait till your village. Leave your air-conditioned mosquito-netted room with its comfortable bed and go experience the joys of camping in your backyard. Are you worried about mosquitoes? No problem. Just spray yourself with Raid. In the US, people voluntarily leave their nice homes in an effort to "experience the outdoors". So, for those of you in Nigeria that can experience camping for free everyday, be happy.

Exercise. Here in the US, treadmills are being sold so that everybody can have that experience of walking for miles--except these people are not going anywhere. In fact, if you don't have a car in Nigeria you should be happy because you are getting much needed exercise. After exercise, people like to go to saunas and "relax" so that they can "sweat out" toxins, but those of you in Nigeria can simply sit in a crowded bus with no AC for a few hours! You are getting the benefits of a sauna for the price of a bus ride! Isn't that great?

Food. In the US, "cultural restaurants" are expensive. I am not talking fast food type of food like Chinese take-out or a kebab or something. People here will literally pay hundreds of dollars just to eat "real ethnic food". So the next time you are walking down a street in Nigeria and see somebody selling roasted plantain, or suya, or a "Mama Put", remember that in the US just to get that experience we would have to pay a ridiculous amount of money. So, be happy.

I still say USA > Nigeria but its all good.

Is there anything else you can think of?

Weekends At Home

This is the first weekend in a few months that I have spent at home and you know what...

I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND.

Its quite sad.

This whole summer I spent most of my weekends in the city so I had very little time at home. Between working all week and weekends in Manhattan, I forgot how DRY this place can be during the weekend. Now that I'm back spending weekends at home, it is killing me slowly. I am actually thinking of adding one more class to my fall schedule just so I have something to do on weekends!

You know what they say about an idle mind...this is the kind of mood that can prompt you to do something stupid out of sheer boredom, like start a fire or call an ex or buy stuff you don't need. (At least one of those crossed my mind, guess which ones)

Its just unfortunate.

I seriously dislike this feeling. Aren't these supposed to be the "best years"? Why am I wasting them at home with nothing to do? Sheesh!

In other news, today my mom said she wants me to move out of the house by the end of the year! This statement was spurred by my apparent "defiance".

I think this is great news! As you may know I was going to move out anyway, but to hear her say this makes me so much happier. Now I don't have to worry about her trying to convince me otherwise when I announce my plans.

Of course, I don't know how she'll react when she hears where I might be moving to and with whom. Ah well. Like she said, I'm an "adult" now.

I just find it hilarious that she said that at my age I shouldn't be acting "defiant" to her. Err...excuse me, of course I'm "defiant"! Its because I am not a child anymore and I have a brain of my own which doesn't always agree with hers. She should expect defiance from a 20-something year old. "Defiance" should only be a surprise if your child is young and still relies on you for their daily support. Parental logic never ceases to amaze me.

Also, the way she started the conversation seriously should have made me annoyed. It began thusly:

Her:  You said you aren't going to medical school anymore right?
Me:   Err...
Her:  So I think its time to move out, there's nothing more we're doing for you.
Me:   Okayy....
Her:  I mean the MBA is only one year of school so you can move out and do that
Me:   (quickly debated whether or not to correct her, then decided not to)...Okay
Her:  So since you don't have any further education planned...

After beginning the conversation this way, there was the whole schpiel about me being "defiant", and she was spurred by my leaving a dirty plate in the sink (I just didn't feel like washing it, so sue me). As you can see she is STILL not over my decision to drop medical school and in her opinion the MBA might as well be a second high school diploma. Apparently if I wasn't being so "lazy" and I still planned to attend medical school then it would be okay for me to stay at home.

Na wah oh. I'm just happy I didn't blow up at her. A few months ago I would have, but I didn't.

Sha, like I said in my previous previous post, next year is going to be a fun year full of "hope and change". 2011 here we come!

So, what do you do to beat weekend boredom? I need ideas! This weekend just seems so, blah...

If God Is Willing...We Will Figure It Out.

The other day on Twitter, I had a conversation with @JangleLegJones. We had both seen the new Spike Lee documentary, If God Is Willing and Da Creek Don't Rise and she said she felt like New Orleans was the type of place she would like to move to. I did not come away with that response. I came away thanking God that I did not live in New Orleans and I had a sense that I would not even want to visit the city--ever. In fact, the entire state of Louisiana is now off-limits in my opinion.

The people of New Orleans have suffered. It is quite clear that they have still not truly recovered from Hurricane Katrina and I am not sure that they ever will. If they do, the unfortunate fact is that another hurricane could will come through and the same thing could happen all over again. Plus let us not begin to talk about the BP oil spill because that is a whole other can of worms and then some.

The thing about New Orleans is, before Hurricane Katrina things were really not that great to begin with. If you look at US Census Bureau data pre-2005, the entire state of Louisiana was consistently ranked at the bottom in terms of social factors like education, health care, per capita income, safety, etc. Before Katrina, the city of New Orleans consistently appeared at the top of crime rate statistics (places like New York City, Chicago, Philadelphia, Los Angeles, with much larger populations had less crime than New Orleans).

I have heard opinions that the situation in New Orleans is because it is a "black" city and therefore "race" is the problem (in New Orleans over 65% of the population is black). But think about what this means. To bring race into the issue would imply that wherever many black people are gathered, progress stalls and communities fail. Is it because of race? Really? Is "the man" trying to keep New Orleans down because of all the black people there?

The problem with this logic is that New Orleans has always been a "black" city but it has not always been a "bad" city. 

New Orleans was part of the land that the US purchased from France in 1803 as part of the Louisiana purchase. In 1803, the Haitian revolution was in full swing and many Haitian refugees arrived in New Orleans seeking "the new world" and a better life. The Haitian blacks who arrived and settled in New Orleans in the 1800s were not slaves (mostly). Many of them were middle class people who actually owned slaves of their own. In the 1800s, blacks in Louisiana actually held public office! Louisiana even had the first non-white governor in the US in 1866! Yes, 1866! In New Orleans black people were educated, held public office, owned businesses, owned their own homes (many still do), and freely interacted with whites in the area.

Eventually segregation crept in and the area began to resemble the rest of the south. But, de-segregation  also eventually happened. In fact, the city New Orleans has been under "black" governance since the 1980's. As the black population grew, whites began to leave the area and this is why the city is now over 65% black.

In the time that black people have had "control" over the city why haven't things changed?

After watching the documentary I felt like crying. Not because I was sad but because I was--and still am--angry at the black people who let it get that far even before Katrina hit. My pity for some residents of the city turned into annoyance faster than you can say, "Who Dat".

New Orleans frustrates me. The city had so much potential to become a beacon for other "black" cities like Detroit or Baltimore instead it has become what it is today. A city with high crime, high unemployment, terrible public educational system, inadequate health-care, etcetera which the rest of the United States pities and has to support like some sort of poor relative. How did it get to this point? Forget sending aid to foreign countries, the United States has its very own fixer-upper right here in the south.

This story of  "wasted potential" is one that I see in two other places.

New Orleans actually reminds me of Haiti. The slaves there fought for over a decade to gain their independence and once they got it--the country basically tore itself apart. Their first leader was assassinated by his own advisers about 2 years after they gained independence. Instead of becoming a great republic that would be a template for other black republics...well you know how that turned out. It is now one of the poorest countries in the world.

Of course, how can I forget dear old Nigeria. Despite having the "easiest" route to democracy of any African nation after literally TALKING their way out of colonial rule, despite having oil reserves, and despite not having natural disasters, the country has still become what it is today. I am quite sure that if it wasn't for the "grace of oil", Nigeria would be in a situation similar to the Democratic Republic of Congo, or Zimbabwe or even Haiti.

These places: Haiti, Nigeria, Congo, Zimbabwe, New Orleans, etc seem to have one thing in common--black people.

But of course, people will say that the reason blacks (everywhere) are not faring as well is because the rest of the world has taken advantage of us in the past. In Africa, we blame colonialism for this. In the West we blame slavery, discrimination, etc. I am not trying to discount the effects of these issues but there has to be a point when black people come together and OWN the issues. Time to stop pushing blame on other people.

Think about it. Haiti has had over 200 years of "black" rule and is still behind. Can we really continue to blame Europeans for the issues in that country 200+ years later? When Haiti was 111years old the situation there got so bad that the US occupied the country and ran the Haitian government for 18 years. Funny enough, "analysts" are predicting the same thing for Nigeria i.e. a collapse in government that requires foreign intervention. Haven't you wondered why Hollywood is all of a sudden making references to a foreign military presence in Nigeria? See: X-Men Origins:Wolverine, Avatar, Repo Men, The Expendables, etc and lets not forget the waste of a movie timeless classic, Tears Of The Sun.

New Orleans, Nigeria, its the same story different location. "They" did this, "they" did that. When will we stop blaming "they"?

It can't be just me that feels this way.

If God is willing we will figure it out.

You know what, lets not drag God into this.

If WE are willing, we will figure it out.