Quarter Life Crisis.

Dear readers, I think I'm having a quarter life crisis.

My life just feels so...bleh.

I'm beginning to exhibit the "restlessness" that made me take a temporary break from Alpa Chino a couple of years ago. Except this time, my restlessness is not focused on any one aspect of my life.

I just feel like I need to change things in a major way.

I found this list of quarter-life crisis "symptoms" on Wikipedia and used it to perform a "quarter life crisis self-assessment".

• confronting one's own mortality Everybody dies. I got it. Recently though, I am beginning to realize that there is really not that much time between now and then.
• insecurity concerning ability to love oneself, let alone another person Nope.
• insecurity regarding present accomplishments I think I have this? I've been feeling like I need to have "more" done but part of it could be the "overachiever" in me talking.
• re-evaluation of close interpersonal relationships Happening right now.
• lack of friendships or romantic relationships, sexual frustration, and involuntary celibacy Nope.
• disappointment with one's job Happening right now.
• nostalgia for university, college, high school, middle school or elementary school life Definitely not happening. College was fun but, unlike some people, I always realized it would end.
• tendency to hold stronger opinions I guess happening right now?
• boredom with social interactions Happening right now on certain levels not all.
• loss of closeness to high school and college friends Not really happening.
• financially-rooted stress (overwhelming college loans, unexpectedly high cost of living) Happening right now. I think finding a more challenging, better paying job will fix this.
• loneliness, depression and suicidal tendencies Nope.
• desire to have children Hell no. Definitely not happening right now.
• a sense that others are doing better than oneself Maybe happening right now? But, these "others" are older than me so its only right that they are.
• frustration with social skills Nope.

Recently I've found myself wondering what it would be like if I moved to another city/state, got a new job, an apartment, broke up with Alpa Chino, and just stayed on my own for a while. Obviously all these things are easier said than done. But, I've been thinking about these things--with seriousness.

Like I said, I can't pinpoint exactly where all this restlessness is coming from. It just is. I am at the point in my life where the decisions I make will pretty much determine how things turn out for me in the next decade and even the rest of my life.

I don't want to do something extra stupid because of this restlessness, but I don't see it going away anytime soon. I don't know that everyone who reads this can understand what I mean. On the surface everything is fine. I have a job, great friends and family, a guy who genuinely cares about me, a roof over my head, food to eat, money to spend, etc and I am STILL restless.

Something is wrong with me.