Violating Treaties

Remember this post about the treaty Alpa Chino and I signed? Well, call the UN folks. It appears we have an international diplomacy catastrophe on our hands because a couple of weeks ago, I violated the terms of the treaty. The US is going to have to host peace talks at Camp David before we can rectify this situation

Can you tell I am not treating this with the "seriousness" it deserves?

Technically the situation has been "rectified", sort of.

The other day, I was talking to Alpa Chino via video chat on my laptop (very G-rated conversation don't worry) and Mogaji called me on my cell.

I told Alpa Chino I would have a quick chat with her and would be right back (see? I give all my friends equal billing, boyfriend or not).

He was still able to hear me on my call with Mogaji when she asked me about him and I used one of our previously banned words.

Oops.


He was not happy and he waited until I was done with the call at which point he asked me why I had to use the heretofore "banned" word.

I was amused by his annoyance--especially considering the treaty was my idea--and I let him know that I was amused. Obviously that didn't help things.

Honestly I didn't even think about what I was saying because I was talking to Mogaji at the time (not him) but boy was he pissed.

This image may be a tad dramatic, but still..

He told me that I should not say the word again, he sounded frighteningly like my father and in that moment I was concerned that I had somehow managed to do the one thing I had vowed never to do. Date someone like my dad.

I said I would "try" not to use the word (just to placate him, because quite honestly I don't think the treaty covered Mogaji who is like my sister). He said trying wasn't good enough, so I told him that I didn't know what else to tell him.

He basically wanted me to promise never to say it again, I told him I was a work in progress and as such I would continue to work on it but I could only "try".

He continued to be upset so I told him that if he liked he could follow up with Mogaji once a week to check if I used one of the "banned" words when talking to her.

I think if I had been in the same room with him he would have stormed out and slammed the door. Obviously that is much harder to do online.

I really need to be nicer, don't I?

I told Mogaji about this (sans referring to Alpa Chino as a "barawo") and she said both Alpa Chino and I will be just fine.

I agree.

Although, thinking about this just reminds me how far this relationship has gone. I think I've written this before, but when I first started this relationship, I had my rose colored glasses on in full effect. Everything he did was awesome. His face, awesome. His manly hands, awesome. His deep voice, awesome. His dark skin next to my light skin, awesome. His character, awesome. His clothing decisions...well I think you get the point.

I still think all those things are awesome but only some of the time. The other day I realized that my heart doesn't speed up around him anymore. In the past, especially in the beginning, there were times when we would talk and I would feel these delicious little shivers, my heart would speed up, my voice would go all soft, etc. Now? Not so much. Although this is great for my cardio-vascular health (I'm sure) what does it mean for our relationship?

Things to ponder.

I think this "too comfortable" phase of a relationship is what makes some people wary of long term commitments, like marriage. After all, if you stay with someone long enough to get to this point, and you aren't married you can always walk away without a messy divorce. I'm not saying I will walk away, but I think I get it now.

I don't know that this is one-sided. He and I haven't really talked about it.