Saving Your "Man" From Your Family (Kim K Would Understand)

Okay this post is based on my own "situation" although I am sure there are others like me out there.

This week, Alpa Chino and I were discussing the possibility of finally ending this LDR and me moving to the midwest.

The explanation of how this will work without my having to change jobs will come in another post at another time. I will know for sure about this possible move by December, but it looks like it will finally happen. So we were browsing a few apartments in the Chicago Northwest suburbs. (His company is in the "Golden Corridor").

CLEARLY the rent over there is cheaper than rent in New York. So I said, since we can afford it, we should get a 2 bed/2ba place, and I think I made a good argument for why. (Mainly, space).

He said "we shall see".

Then he said he only wants a place with a 6 month lease...wait, what?
Apparently, he wants a shorter lease in the event that he finds a cheaper place after 6 months.

Of course, there are cheaper places than where we looked. But some of those neighborhoods are not as nice and others are too far into the boonies.

For him, moving from the city to the suburbs is good enough. Whether it is the "okay" part of the suburbs or the "best" part of the suburbs. However, considering I currently live "20 minutes away from the Clintons", I am pickier. When he said he wanted a "cheaper" place after 6 months, I was mildly annoyed. The places we looked at are not out of reach. Cutting rent by $200 a month is not enough reason to move from "best" to "okay". Even in the same suburban town there are "levels".

Removing my personal preference from this equation, there is my family to consider--specifically my mother.

Selling them this move will be hard enough. If I move to a place that is not "equal to or greater than" where I currently live, my mother will consider me a terrible daughter and she will lose any respect she may have ever had for Alpa Chino.

Okay, maybe she won't consider me a terrible daughter but the losing respect for Alpa Chino part will definitely happen. It won't matter what else he does or accomplishes for the rest of his life, she will always see him as the man who was too cheap to properly house her daughter. I know her.

My mother's thought process has been explained to me in great detail while she warns us against "useless" men. According to her, if a man is unwilling to spend a bit of money on making himself more comfortable, what else will he be cheap about?

So if you really think about it, I am helping Alpa Chino avoid problems with my family in the future.

He thinks this is all exaggerated, but I know my mother. We can't give her a reason to question him otherwise I will be dealing with the fallout forever.

Do you find yourself "managing" your significant other's reputation around your family? Like a public relations agent or image consultant? Its a bit like fixing his tie right before he goes into the house to meet your folks.


This just brings to mind the "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" episode where Kim tells her now husband, Kris, that his Hoboken apartment will not do if they get married. He thinks she is being materialistic, her reasoning is that she has to maintain a certain standard of living and the press would see it as a downgrade if they didn't move to a better place. Now, I don't have paparazzi chasing me, my family is my impetus to avoid any sort of "downgrade". Maybe, since Alpa Chino likes her so much, I should get Kim K to explain things to him.


I REALLY love the "Dedication to my Ex" song by Lloyd. I heard it a lot on the radio when I was in Vegas and we drove around but haven't really heard it on the radio here. This is the clean version of the song which I actually prefer over the "parental advisory" version.