I have spent the last few weeks investigating various moving related topics: neighborhoods, apartments in said neighborhoods, transportation options (since I won't have a car for a bit), furniture, places to buy furniture, prices for "stuff", even cable providers (found out my only choice is Comcast, so annoyed), etc.
At this point, I think its safe to say I know more about the northwest suburbs of Chicago than Alpa Chino.
I like to have a plan for things like this. The move will be middle of January 2012. That may seem like its a bit far away, but I prefer to be super organized. I also want to get all the research done now so I can enjoy what will probably be my last Thanksgiving and Christmas living at home.
Its hard enough to plan a move within the same city or state, but when you add the fact that one person is moving from out of state...it makes things a little more complicated.
However, and I'm not too humble to say it, thanks to me we are on top of things. Its not that he isn't organized, its just that I'm better at this than he is. I insisted we use shared Google Docs & a Google Calendar to keep track. This way, we can get information wherever we have internet access. I can make changes to something on my phone, laptop, etc and he sees it immediately. We can both update together while on the phone or chatting. If one of us sees something interesting, we share it with the other person, decide if we both want it, and then add it to a running list of items to buy.
So, the planning/organizing part is not stressful.
We have had the "finances" talk. Turns out he has better credit than I do...I'm jealous. But then, he doesn't have any student loans, has low balances on his cards, and has a longer credit history, he's a financial saint. I am an aspiring saint with a shorter credit history.
We already know how money will work. One joint checking account where both of us will deposit our portions for joint expenses, like rent. Every other account will remain separate. We've decided the rent ratio, 60:40. He makes more than I do and I have more monthly bills (thanks to student loans and taking classes), so 50:50 wasn't going to work.
We agree on a lot of things when it comes to money. At least, for now.
Has everything been smooth sailing? Well we have had some disagreements. For instance, there was a kettle conversation recently...
He wants to get a stove top kettle, and I am of the opinion that God created electric kettles for a reason--they're faster and more efficient. He says its just an aesthetic thing, having a kettle on the stove. I just think it is unnecessary.
So, we can't agree on the best way to bring water to a boil. The kettle is not the issue, we have different "taste". He wants something a bit more traditional, I just care about what is fastest. Not a big deal now (we're getting a stove kettle) but just wait till its time to go furniture shopping. Couch selection may very well be a pain in the ass.
Or consider that while researching places to shop for apartment stuff, I added the local Goodwill store. When he saw that, his response was basically "eww..." (obviously that is not exactly what he said). I like Goodwill. We're not going to buy "important" things from there, like a bed, but you can get some cool stuff to decorate your apartment/home in places like Goodwill and you'll save money! He's never been to one, so I am hoping that he can see the benefits when we go.
I am getting my way quite a bit with this move. He has agreed to live in the area I want, we're seeing apartments that I like, and we will probably get the specific apartment that I want. So, in the end, he is letting me have my way quite a bit. Yay.
Or consider that while researching places to shop for apartment stuff, I added the local Goodwill store. When he saw that, his response was basically "eww..." (obviously that is not exactly what he said). I like Goodwill. We're not going to buy "important" things from there, like a bed, but you can get some cool stuff to decorate your apartment/home in places like Goodwill and you'll save money! He's never been to one, so I am hoping that he can see the benefits when we go.
I am getting my way quite a bit with this move. He has agreed to live in the area I want, we're seeing apartments that I like, and we will probably get the specific apartment that I want. So, in the end, he is letting me have my way quite a bit. Yay.
If you're considering taking the plunge and moving in together, I think being organized and communicating (a lot) is key. It has been a change having to consider someone else in decisions like which kettle to buy, lol, but I think we're handling things well so far. I see co-habitating as a necessary step before you even consider marrying someone. Of course, this doesn't mean that Alpa Chino and I will get married.
That is another thing about cohabitating. It can be the beginning of the end, or the beginning of the beginning. I'm preparing myself for either outcome, and you should too if you plan to do this. Yes, I'm moving to Chicago. But, I will be working, and I can definitely afford to live on my own there if I suddenly have to. I want to be closer to my dream grad programs, and maybe even attend part-time instead of full-time (if I get in). This move is not just about "us" there are benefits for me beyond the relationship.
I'll be sure to have another "Cohabitating" post in the future. I'll be visiting Chi-town in Dec to see apartments, so that should be fun.
